Shy kid

I was quiet, painfully quiet.  I had imaginary friends, I was weird.

It can be tough being a quiet kid, I did not understand why I was so quiet and I did not know what to say to people.  I would wait for other kids to ask me to play rather than initiating.  I was never sure if they liked me; I think that they did.  I would marvel at the kids who would boldly ask for things and advocate for themselves, I still do.

My imaginary friends?  Yeah, that is a therapy session in itself.  I had one friend and we were thick as thieves, we hung out all of the time (what else was she doing).  My family thought that it was funny and my siblings encouraged it.  Suddenly I had more imaginary friends and came up with all kids of stories, mostly to entertain my family.  There is a lot of psychology about imaginary friends, I have not delved much into it but it they say that it is natural and healthy.  One would think that with all of the the creativity I had as a child I would be do something creative but I am in accounting.  My family still brings up my friends like somehow I reunited with them on Facebook.

I started kindergarten when I was 4 1/2 years old, just making the cut off.  I was also tiny so I looked funny getting on the bus and heading to school.  Back then kids were allowed to roam around more and I took full advantage of this- early alone time.  I would go for walks around the neighborhood and take off into the quiet area of my backyard.  One day I decided to go for a bike ride even though I only had one lesson, police were involved and I didn't ride my bike for a year.

I was also weird because I played with the Fisher Price people and my doll house for longer than I should have, honestly I do not know the age I stopped but trust me it was longer than most.  I loved the people, much like my imaginary friends, and has all kids of stories for them.

I had a hard time making friends because I was so quiet and did not initiate friendships or invite friends over often.  I was, and still am, a loyal friend though.  I think that this is true of most introverts, we tend to have a close group of friends. 

As I have gotten older and forced to meet and mingle I have gotten out of my shyness but will always be an introvert.  One of the best ways that I escaped being shy is my "I don't give a sh!tness".  I am more comfortable with my quirks.

Oh Gee, Wally

I have been watching Leave it to Beaver in the morning while working from home.  There is a comfort to the show that helps me start the day.

As a kid in the 80s the show was on in the afternoon and I fell in love with it.  It must have been making a resurgence since they did reunion shows around that time.  I am not sure what drew me to it but it was funny and as a child I did not necessarily understand the innocence of it.  

As an adult I would occasionally catch the show or read about the actors.  This would bring up nostalgia about my childhood and watching the show.  I knew that it was on in the morning and on the rare occasion that I was home during the week I would try to catch it.

When I started working from home I turned it on as I would have breakfast and read through work emails.  At first I was guilty about watching TV during the day and was going to stop watching.  I wisely decided to keep it on; it was the only thing that I watched in the daytime and sometimes the only thing that I watched all day.  It brings me comfort.

Why does a show based in the late 1950s/early 1960s bring me comfort?  I am sure that part of it is the nostalgia from childhood watching it, though I do not get the same enjoyment from watching other shows that I watched back then.  I think that the simplicity of the show appeals to me, especially during these "uncertain times" (yeah, I hate that too).  We were forced to slow down and stay at home, eat dinner together as a family.  Kids were no longer over scheduled, much like the kids of Mayberry.  They got by with one car, they rarely went out to dinner or got take out.  Life existed that way; and I know that the Cleaver household is an exaggerated version of this time.  

I do cringe a little at the women who dutifully kept house and worried about the husband coming home to a warm meal.  There are no minorities and they talk only of heterosexual relationships, quite common at the time.  

Recently Ken Osmond, the actor who beautifully played Eddie Haskell, passed away.  It brought a weird sadness as I felt as though one of my friends had died.  Someone who had been a part of my life was gone.  

Much like the warm cup of tea that I have in the morning LITB (that is what the cool kids call it) helps start my day off 

Introduction

I am not sure why I have decided to blog, except that it may be therapeutic.  I am an introvert, I like my alone time.  I have a lot of thoughts in my head (maybe this is why I am blogging).  Quarantine and social distancing is a dream for us introverts, we can be alone.  Yes, I can be lonely at times but this is my happy place.
It has taken me a long time to realize that being an introvert is not a bad thing.  Being comfortable with it and explaining to people (especially anyone I would date) has taken a while but now I am confident with it- kinda.  Introverts aren't necessarily shy, though I was as a kid.  Introverts can be friendly, I can be very welcoming.  Introverts aren't quiet, I actually have a loud voice.  We just like our alone time and can be uncomfortable in a crowd.
Anyway, here are some of my thoughts if you care to read them.   Enjoy!